One thing to note: While we tend to use the terms "sociopath" and " psychopath " interchangeably, they mean different things. Whereas most sociopaths are prone to impulsive behavior and often seen as disturbed or unhinged, a psychopath is cold and calculating, sometimes even charming. Black, "because virtually all psychopaths are antisocial, but not all antisocials have psychopathy. To be diagnosed with ASP, a person must be at least 18 years old and have a history of aggression, rule-breaking, and deceit that dates back to their childhood.
Here are some of the other red flags to watch out for, based on criteria listed in the DSM-V. Perhaps one of the most well-known signs of ASP is a lack of empathy , particularly an inability to feel remorse for one's actions. Psychopaths always have this symptom, however, which is what makes them especially dangerous.
People with ASP find it hard to form emotional bonds, so their relationships are often unstable and chaotic, says Dr. Rather than forge connections with the people in their lives, they might try to exploit them for their own benefit through deceit, coercion, and intimidation. Sociopaths tend to try to seduce and ingratiate themselves with the people around them for their own gain, or for entertainment.
Sociopaths have a reputation for being dishonest and deceitful. They often feel comfortable lying to get their own way, or to get themselves out of trouble. They also have a tendency to embellish the truth when it suits them. Some might be openly violent and aggressive. Others will cut you down verbally. Either way, people with ASP tend to show a cruel disregard for other people's feelings. Sociopaths are not only hostile themselves, but they're more likely to interpret others' behavior as hostile, which drives them to seek revenge.
Another sign that someone might have ASP is a disregard for financial and social obligations. Ignoring responsibilities is extremely common, says Dr. We all have our impulsive moments: But for someone with ASP, making spur of the moment decisions with no thought for the consequences is part of everyday life, says Dr. They find it extremely difficult to make a plan and stick to it. Life is so incredibly good!! I have a modest job, a modest home, and a huge appreciation for the smallest things! Air even smells sweeter! I too hope victims will be able to rise above and start their lives in !
So happy for you!! True, true, and TRUE … i now see how i consciously ignored and denied the red flags … now i see it all, and understand it all. This blog helped me a lot to define really clearly who she actually was, and added the missing piece to the puzzle. Like all of a sudden, i am myself again, i see now everything clearly. Not only in my head, but in my life, i happen to see my brother a lot and he clearly sees a huge difference.
Even the way i stand … it changed too. And the way i walk changed too. Now i take the big steps i used to take when i was younger, before all this happened. And everything is so much better …. Even the fabric of my clothes on my skin feels smoother. I see girls that smile at me in the streets, and that kind of stuff that used to happen before i dated her happen all the time now.
And that wonderful feeling of wellness after taking a shower is back. I just started this phase. In a month, huge difference. And that makes me happy. I realize as well that my thinking skills and cognitive abilites are getting better every day. Lots of small things prove that. I had it for FIVE long hard years! No Contact is so hard!
So glad to hear you both are finding things to occupy your time!! What a great way to start the year!!
I am on my iPhone, pray for me, I can get some tech help. Yes yes and yes. This is similar to what I went through. I hate liars and I started to tell my sis everything he said because I began to not see the inconsistencies and feel guilty. I thought I was going crazy and he even said I was when I confronted him, until one day I was just like nah. The abuse started then and I honestly felt nothing, the heartbreak had already occurred when I realised what he was so by then I was cold. He made crisis after crisis happen to him and had crazy girls calling my phone, I just began to fight back and called him out on every lie.
Told everyone to not talk to him that I knew and not accept friend requests. I wiped his numerous numbers from my phone and memory and told him to not contact me again. Now I always cross reference things people say and pride myself on pulling myself out and becoming more confident. Listen to your intuition, nothing is as glamorous as it seems. Not all that glitters is gold. It is clear; whoever wrote this, English is not their primary language! These bloody scammers are everywhere. Can this person be banned from posting on this site?
Back again to say hello to everyone! However, the weird cycle of thinking about what he did is still with me. Today he was on mind mind, yet all I kept thinking is how good it is that we are not interacting, I miss the thought of what I figured I had to look forward to with him, then once I remind myself of how false he was and that last time I got to see him, to confront him about his double life and hidden secret, that keeps my resistance good and strong!
I only say to myself now, I wish he did not do this to me, he was cruel, fake, selfish and mean. I am struggling to embrace the feeling of being with myself again and how much safer I feel being without him, the thought of having to meet him at times in the past would made me feel weird and often resistant, now I know why. The torment, shock, pain, disbelief was unbearable, I did not know what to do with myself in that very moment — I had to hold myself together somehow!
The feeling of being in a nightmare was an understatement. I have a grip and accept the reality I hoped was not real. Discovering he was a full blown Pathological Liar and con artist. My intuition can be frightening, I realize I need topstart appreciating and relaxing with it. I have always had the ability to read certain things and pick up on what most people seem oblivious too..
I have never felt that way, but I am pretty good at keeping a lid on it and not showing signs of mistrust. I am going to miss the relationship I thought he and I would eventually share and take into a deep level. I really wish he was not this entity I discovered, because I wanted to be with him — genuinely cared for his well-being, life and future.
Now, the thought of him frightens me and I realize I dodged a bullet. This is all tragic and too bad, because I am so proud of myself for handling things the way I did. I am detoxing from him now.. It feels good, yet I wish it were different, then again, not with the entity I watched unfold right before my eyes as I slowly introduced to him the fact that I uncovered his secrets..
Angry at times that this is taking so much of me emotionally from where I need to be focused. I am going to miss the thought of how a future with him in it was possibly going to be. Saddened to have been duped by him.. But, feeling very confident at the same time.. I am just so mad he is not who he was projecting and playing mind games with me, the way he did. It was stupid and so pointless.. I am okay, just still feeling the sting and pain, yet much happier in another way!
I need to be alone and it feels so good to be! This can not happen again — this was an awful situation to face and would not wish this type of deception and trickery on anyone.. He really was getting a kick out of deliberately and coldly calculating how to destroy me.. Oh, it hurts so bad, but I will get through and survive this game.
Some moments I am in fear of him, it comes and goes! My poor brain, heart and sould.. Oh, this is awful to realize, yet- I am facing and absorbing it head on! This will not happen to me again! I know exactly how you feel. It stings and feels empowering at the same time. The truth is, because of our good hearts we are perfect targets for this type of man.
They prey on strong, sensitive and compassionate women, because we tend to be more open to trusting them immediately. They are so good at pretending to be all of the things we want. They know us well and have perfected their game. They come on as Prince Charming and once they know they have you, they slowly start being controlling and manipulative.
They soon take no responsibility for anything. It hurts and consumes the best of us. I have to keep reminding myself that no matter who I fall in love with, I always need to love myself a little more. What you and I miss the most……and still brings tears to my eyes…. They will never make anyone happy.
These sociopaths are walking through life without any real connections. You did nothing wrong. You are loving and you will learn to protect your heart by balancing your gift of intuition and empathy. You may want to take a quiz on your empathy level, because it can help you accept why you feel so betrayed and hurt.
I am very sensitive and empathetic, but I am also strong and confident.
Top 18 signs you have been dating a sociopath!! . you can find that you are no longer spending time with people who were once close to you. 18 Signs You Are Dating a Sociopath: From One Who Knows with odd or harmful behavior I simply assumed that they were 'a character.
Personally, I am more angry at myself, because being with this person made me feel crazy. How did I let it happen? I just hope to find forgiveness for him, because I understand how sad and empty his life will always be. He still wants me…. That is all I know to do…..
Quit it like a bad habit…. Just love yourself a little more, always, because it will provide you with the courage and the will to leave. One step at a time…. That is the greatest relationship you will ever have in life! Thanks for such a comforting reply. Everything you said makes perfect sense and is spot on..
It was like quitting a bad habit cold — turkey and had to be done immediately.. There are very dangerous and seriously disordered people out there.. There are so many stages to overcoming the damaging effects of a relationship with an SP! I some how found the strength and courage to secretly leave, start a new life and that is all going well. I am even enjoying spending time getting to know me and just being alone with me. I truly loved my SP. The quick teary outbursts that come out of nowhere can drop me to my knees in an instant. Then comes the anger for being crushed over a man who treated me so badly and could so easily lie and deceive me.
Divorce should be final in May.
Perhaps things will be easier then…when all the legal BS is done and no longer nagging in the back of my mind. I had a problem with my boyfriend 6 months ago, which lead to our broke up. When he broke up with me, i was not myself again; i fill so empty inside me. Until a friend of mine told me about a spell caster who helped her in the same problem too.
Before i knew what was happening, not up to 48 hours, my boyfriend gave me a call and he come back to me and told me he was sorry for everything that happen,i am so greatful to this spell caster and will not stop publishing his name on the net for the good work he is doing. If you need his help,you can email him at onimalovespell gmail. I have been in a relationship with a man for the past 5 years who recently broke up with me. He came on strong, alienated my family, lied about his family. Turns out his family life was horrible, but he lied about it.
He always placed the blame on me for his own troubles, and had a couple violent outbursts. He never threatened me, and he was always in debt. When we broke up, he had been sending gifts to another woman and never mentioned it to me. He never responded to that and has gone from texting me several times a day to nothing.
I am at a loss because he was my best friend. He would never talk about his past, and he moved in with me, never offering to pay for rent or utilities. Only when I asked him to. He basically lived here for free. He meets most of the warning signs but not all. Mine owed the IRS too. It sickens me that we all dated the same guy! That way, they could make us 2nd and even 3rd guess ourselves! This is so scary because my bf who I dated off and off for the last 6 yrs is exactly like this.
He checks off on everything on this list. When we would get back together I looked for any excuse each and every time to leave him, but he always pulled me back in and made me feel horrible for thinking about leaving or even trying. I want out now before something bad happens because I have a feeling in my gut that he may become dangerous down the line. Hi yes they do get worse. The most dangerous is when they feel out of control. If you do get out. Make sure you do it safely.
Esp if they realise that the split is permenant they can do all that they can to ruin and destroy you. This last run of his made me thank GOD he left cause I never would have had the heart to throw the bum out in the street. He would have leeched onto me the rest of my life! I just found out this site and I gotta say, Im a little scared by what I read… Maybe I can start by telling my story. Im in a relationship with this guy, my boyfriend, since Its gonna be 4 years this year.
I met him randomly, in a bus stop. He just started to talk to me while we were waiting for the bus. The way he approached me was really polite, respectful, I really liked his way. When the bus came, he gently asked me if he could sit next to me. I mean, he looked educated, he was well spoken.. Anyway, it was summer time so we saw eachother quite often, at least 4 times a week. It all went really fast. For the first 6 months everything was doing good. We kept goin at different spas, massages, high class restaurants… I was young at this time 18 yo , so let me tell you I was quite amazed.
So yes everything was doin really well. The only thing I thought was missing in our relationship was actually his lack of emotion… Yes we would do all these activities together but not a single time would he come to hug me I always did , cuddle with me again, it was always me , and maybe the more important, tell me he loves me he actually never did… even after 4 years. He would never express any big joy, or any sadness. Like litterally, no feeling at all. I read that asian people can be less expressive, because of their culture.
But its more than that… Its hard to explain… Now about his age… I told you he was older than me. Well when we met he told me he was 23 I was It was fine for me, it was a 5 years old gap. I just found out a few months ago that he has been lying to me all these years, he was 27 in reality!!! They keep their own lives private whilst keeping tabs on YOUR life. They tell such big lies that eventually they become the lie and can almost believe it themselves. I only met his brother and his sister recently, but it was only for a couple of minutes, he had to bring them back some stuffs and I insisted to come with him.
Never met his parent tho…. He doesnt care about anything. He lost his job, he didnt even try to hide it from me, he just didnt care. He actually stayed at my place for a whole year after that, without paying anything because of course he didnt have any money. I was a student at that time and I was only working a part-time job so I was osten struggling with the bills and everything, but he didnt seem to care. Whenever I feel sad or he sees Im not in my normal mood, he wouldnt ask me whats wrong, he would just talk to me like if everything was fine. We were supposed to go on a trip to New York for 4 days I live in Canada , he cancelled the same day we were supposed to go, just to punish me even tho he was wrong in that situation.
He knew I was waiting for this trip for the whole week… I was so disappointed, all my stuffs were packed, I was ready to go… I cried, I asked him why he would do something like that, it was purely mean… He couldnt care less. He actually just went into the bed and slept It was not even bed time… Like 2PM. He never show remorse, empathy, guilt or shame. He never offers to help, he only do things when these are beneficial for him. Again, I just feel he doesnt really care if something would happen to me.
He would just move on to the next one. One day I went out in a cafe with one of my friend without telling him, I came back home at 1 AM and he never called me to see where I was. Does he have to match all the characterictic to be one? Cause I would say a lot of them do apply to him, but not all. There are a few things that leap out from your comment. Firstly, did you ever see proof that he had paid for the trip to NY? As I suspect if he is a sociopath that this just an illusion presented to you, they do this. When the truth was, it was never going to happen. Sociopaths can be very charismatic and charming, so you might not realise that you are being manipulated and controlled for example if he lied about NY this is controlling behaviour.
Living off you like a parasite low functioning sociopaths do this — Talking to you like everything is fine when you are upset, and not reading that you are hurt and upset but also people with certain autism can not read or register feelings — Not showing empathy guilt or shame — Only doing things that are beneficial to him — They are very good liars, so you might not realise the lies that he has told — often the lies come to the surface only after the relationship has ended. They are good at being in your life, but not allowing you to be in theirs. I think what is important is not who he is, but how you feel about you, being around him.
This is what is most important if he makes you feel bad, it is bad, and he is bad for you. So really where is this going? You deserve to be treated better…. All sociopaths like everybody else are different. There are varying degrees some are worse than others. Really someone who doesnt care about your needs, is not good for you. You deserve so much better. So i became very sad and lost in life because my doctor told me there is no way for me to get pregnant this really make life so hard for me and my family.
Progress being made…three months to the day after moving out of the SPs life while he was out of town, I have filed for divorce. I broke no contact and met him at the court house and had him pay for the divorce. He signed all the papers and now I never have to talk to him or see him again. He told me a sob story that he has stomach cancer. However, my mistrust in him is well placed and he earned it. I cannot express the overwhelming sadness that day brought. Now how can that be? I have no impositions. I am enjoying me and this blossoming experience. The quality of everything in my life is so much better now.
So how is it that this was such a debilitatingly painful day? I know what he is. I know what he did. How can I allow that to hurt like this? What the hell is wrong with me? I am mourning a monster! I am sorry for your loss. It will get better. Evolutionary speaking sociopaths are good mates.
They are very attractive domineering men if conditioned properly. You are still attracted to the excitement he brought you. Find an exciting attractive man who can actually love. Let the SP be free, you are hurting his ego but you can never touch his heart. This is the most telling sign. How to spot a sociopath: This is the absolute most telling sign. A sociopathic bell curve outlier is eons beyond this list. Take it from me sociopaths have already googled psychoanalytic profiles for their own narcissistic self amusement. Not to mention the bonus of learning to manipulate people better.
There are different breeds of sociopaths. Some are too proud to play the victim.
All have originality and some purposely go against the grain to annoy people a very intelligent sociopath will introduce you to novelties. A strong sociopath is well in tune with the nuances of social dynamics, and will conform and blend for benefit. This includes taking the fall in order to glorify themselves.
They are blobs of flubber capable of moulding into any social situation. A true tell sign of a sociopath is that they are a jack of all trades but a master of none. This is because they get bored easily and pick up new skills just enough to impress people. A sociopath is very good at the big things in life, the sex part was spot on. The rest of the list is okay, but like I said a very smart sociopath is already 50 steps ahead. I hope my introspection has helped a bit. The first high is spectacular. Drugs and sociopaths are the same —false highs.
And it is true, sociopaths appear intelligent but they have very low emotional IQs. This has been really helpful to read. This blog helps me understand a little more. I was 43 when it happened and had fallen head over in heels in love with him 3 years earlier. He was I thought the best partner I had ever been with and I thought we were perfect together. I had never felt so loved or loved anyone that strongly. In hindsight — I ignored many many dangerous situations.
Now, I am starting to rebuild my life, whereas he has found a new Asian partner online, whom I feel very sorry for. Welcome to the site. It is good that you are working with a counsellor who understands about sociopathic behaviour. Not too many do. I finally discovered what was going on back in December but still havent gotten him to leave me alone.
He continually goes to the police making up accusation after accusation against me but still has gotten nowhere. I just want him to leave me alone but he is refusing to do so, instead telling the police that it is ME who is harassing him. I have had abuse charges against me in 2 different counties brought up against me by him and both times they were dismissed. I see no end in sight. Tell him that the relationship is over and as of this date, time you do not wish him to contact you further. I have already done all that. I have already been awarded a 4 year restraining order against him but he keeps pulling me back into court on new bullshit charges.
I was starting to date somebody new but he ended things with me because he didnt want to have to deal with all of the shit I am going through. You want someone who will be right there with you through thick and thin. This article makes it sound like Sociopaths are always gregarious, socially charming, smart about fashion, and will never ever apologize.
This is not true. Of course they are all super charming but not all of them have social skills, only one-on-one skills. They will periodically tear you down, either with snide comments, criticism, some form of anger or outrage, or by withholding affection usually for some very small infraction, or by other subtle words or actions.
This is also a well-known ploy used by pimps to keep their tricks attached to them. Sorry but a very large percent of women are indeed susceptible to it. For instance they may answer their phone every time you call and then suddenly ignore your calls for several hours; or they may tell you how beautiful you look and then comment that the fat secretary in their last job wore that same lipstick; or they may suddenly for no reason look at you with disdain and treat you coldly.
Often these punishments are imposed to make you react and then to make you feel guilty in order to then ask you for something, at which point you will be vulnerable to comply. The first SP I dated, which was long before I studied them, was pretty much as described in this article.
But the second whose father and sister were also sociopath was not of the super charming variety as described here. Instead he was more like a super sweet puppy dog, and cutsy like a little boy. But he was very dangerous. Many, although not most, are capable of heinous activity and their fearlessness fuels their crimes. This guy was a pedophile and he maintained the appearance of a normal life as a major part of his cover.
But it took me less than 6 months to figure him out although I went through psychological torture and spent over a year recovering. Yes, he was that good at turning the tables. He is now in prison. The 3rd was super arrogant on the surface—although all 4 were very arrogant, this guy was completely unmoved by the judgments or rights of others and made no pretense. He was a poet, a philosopher, and knew all the right things to say for the first few dates.
But then it turned into just great sex as described and lots of anger with fewer and fewer times of adoration and charm. I dated him for 7 months and spent over a year trying to get him out of my system and coming to terms with the fact that it was all fake. I really felt compassion to the point that even after I had lost any real attraction to him I continued to help him financially.
He was the perpetual victim. Although much of his past life reflected all the things I loathed—sex, drugs, crime—he spewed ideals about how he was reformed and seemed to make real efforts to change but could never follow through. While at some point I knew he was inappropriately dependent on me and probably institutionalized, I honestly thought he was, at his core, somewhat innocent and a victim of his own life.
But until today I never suspected he was a sociopath. Now I see this may be one way to make sense of him. I feel like a real idiot and unlike someone above who said not to let it cause distrust going forward I am going to be super distrusting. I obviously need to figure out what in me keeps attracting these men before I can safely date anyone. I am super gullible, trusting, and compassionate and they are clearly drawn to me like a fly to honey.
Reading this article was very eye opening. I am only I am sorry society, I am one of these people. Most of these characteristics just sound like the way people act when they are in love. There are a myriad number of other psychological issues narcissism, neurosis, inferiority complex, OCD, etc. But overall, a list of traits to check off on an internet site does not make anyone qualified to diagnose such a complex illness. Chances are, the only benefit this site provides is give people a scapegoat to blame sociopathy for their failed relationships.
I just came across this blog and it saved my life. I was under such an evil spell. Every word of this article fits perfectly. It almost appears to be a personality biography, or a direct tale of what happened to me. My SP I like having a term and I have recently split after nearly four years together. Ok, so four years ago, I met Mr.
Wonderful randomly in a bar I have two little boys, and never go to the bar. He ended up dropping by my office to see me. About a month later, he showed up at my office again and I happened to be the only one there. When he walked in, I was shocked! He was absolutely beautiful! Wide strong shoulders Dressed impressively. He smiled, and let me know he had been wanting to see me. Very charming and VERY obviously attracted to me. His story was that he had just come here from flying in Alaska where he had had a near death experience when he crashed his plane. He loved being a Millwright, and was now looking to settle down.
He was 31 at the time and grew up in upstate New York where he had created and sold a very successful iron fabrication business. He told me he has two children and a horrible ex who was keeping his kids from him out of spite of not having him anymore. He never really loved her and had to get away, so he said! He had been living on Grand Cayman for the previous 5 years, had moved to Florida where he had spent the last year, and had just road tripped here with his friend to visit another friend that happened to live in the area.
He was only flying until something else came up, i. He just decided to move to the area after all of that for a new beginning. Supposedly he was a shell of a man without his children and was hoping to heal in the Alpine mountains. After this incredible tale, he asked me out on a date, said he had thought about me while waiting to be rescued from his plane crash and had been waiting to see me ever since ridiculously sweet right?
We went out the following night. With no real plans we ended up at a local rodeo lol it was my first rodeo! He was so attentive and such a gentleman! Did I mention he was gorgeous? Like really, really handsome. He appeared to only have eyes for me, was incredibly flattering and over the top sweet. I was falling for him without even realizing it, I had never had butterflies this strong and could hardly believe this was happening to me, it all seemed to good to be true.
That night we bought a bottle of wine, stopped beside a river talked for hours about everything, before we left, he spun me around and kissed me so passionately I actually felt myself go weak in his arms. I was already absolutely enamored with this man. We went on another date and it was amazing too, we ended up sleeping next to each other and kissing all night nothing else!
Before I knew it, we were non stop texting and talking and I really felt like I was getting to know him. He was an open book. We took the boys camping where he interacted and appeared to really care for them. The third week I knew him, he moved in!! After all he had just started a new job and needed a place to live, and well, we were in love! Intense ridiculous no one else on Earth has it kind of love, why not trust it!? I was certainly beyond the point of giving it up! He seemed excited by my children and really interested in getting to know them, Acted like I was some epic fairy tale goddess he had been searching for his entire life.
My guys really liked him too, and as a father of his own two boys, I never expected what was to come…. None of us did. About a month after moving in, and a so far flawless relationship, he came home really upset, we could all feel it the second he came through the door. He went straight into our room. I followed him in. He was very confusing about why he was so upset claiming there was nothing wrong and being very distant and obviously upset. I was so shocked and hurt, I had no idea what I could have done but it certainly appeared to be MY fault.
I spent the next few days trying to get the little bubble back, loving him, pampering him, catering to him, begging inside for it to come back! It did with avengence. He began playing the hurt victim. He said he missed his children so badly he could barely live, and that his mother was sick and in the hospital. He really needed my love during this time and was so incredibly thankful to have me, the love of his life! He began sucking the life from me and I began to feed it to him with everything I had!
I had been diagnosed with severe chronic ptsd. After all he had just started a new job and needed a place to live, and well, we were in love! And most definitely brag of how amazingly skilled they are in bed. One of the reasons that a sociopath will come on strong, and bombard you with affection, is because he wants you to not have the time to see other people. For that, I can be proud of myself.
He began to borrow money with promises to pay it back, I mean after all he had all this money in the past, a few hundred dollars was nothing to him, he would definitely pay it back right? This went on for months. He started to need big life events to continue to be happy. His new job was very stressful and he was promoted to an authoritative position within the first few months.
He moved us out of our home into a home of his choosing farther into the country demanding it to help him be happier! We went willingly just wanting him to be his happy delightful self. Nothing we tried worked, but feeling like we were constantly failing him we tried harder. This all sounds so bad, like what kind of a mother would put her children through this?
If only you could understand the deep and intensive ground work he laid to get me to this position, I was so in love, he was so amazing so often, I was caught in his web, and so were my guys, they loved him, begged for his approval and affection. Over and over again! Such a sick emotional cycle!. He would make up elaborate lies why he needed this or that or money he was sending to family or whatever, it would make your head spin to hear it all! I gave freely as I wanted the best for him and his family. IAfter all he was a shell without his children right?
I spoke with his ex and she let me know he has never paid child support once and had never contacted them before me!!!! It was never enough. Soon I began to find dirty messages on his phone to and from other women. That we gave him hope and showed him what love was, and how could I leave him when we had what no one else had, that this was true love and he would change, on his knees crying, screaming begging!
I would relent, after huge barrages of this kind of thing, non stop texts non stop begging, only to find it on his phone again…. I left three times in three years!
Even my children begged me to go back to him! It was so fucking bad! Finally last month I caught him in a hotel room with some girl. He is still denying it, saying its all a mis understanding and he can prove nothing happened, that he will take a lie detector test, anything, anything just to prove it to me! Well, After all of this thank everything on Earth that killed it for me, I shut his phone off, moved into a new beautiful home and shut him out completely.
He was so good at making me doubt myself, and feel like it was all me all the time! I feel so strong and free! Thank you from the bottom of my heart for this amazing article. And now I know!!!!! But now I know, a little research and this article…WOW! Would a specialist like to analyze me? It truly is frightening!!
Everything from the original connection,,Saying I was the one, we were together in a previous life, after 6 weeks she wanted to fly to Vegas and get married.. There was so much that is so exact here on what you mentioned it blows my mind.. Sadly for me i did ask her to marry me, moved in with her for a month, I left as a result of finding out lies about going out on dates with other men for money. With her continually promising she was going to acquire this big lucrative pastry chef position and never did. Always hiding her phone, had over friends on FB and over were men.. I know, what a sucker I am.
She never took responsibility for any wrong doings, had the hardest time apologizing for anything. Was rarely affectionate or showed any inner feelings, had that weird dead shark stare on many occasions.. Only to realize at the end of the day all she really had under her belt was being a bartender for 8 years at hot bars.. Met her parents they were married 51 years, though in 6 months she spoke to them maybe 3 times. It became such that her drinking 6 times a week red wine and margaritas at home became ugly to me as well and after a heated phone argument three days ago I said enough!!!
Last week I filed for a chapter 13 and the attorney wants to go after her and the jeweler for breaking Illinois engagement laws. I have no desire to have anything to do with her! She has made me not only fall out of love with her but in a strange way i now find her repulsive. It was a great lift reading this post and I thank you sincerely as it definitely has made me feel better about this unbelievable mess I involved myself with.
Getting consumed in that situation I was in inevitably led me to a proposal in marriage on my end. Dated enough, though none like her.. I fell and fell hard with her. Never met someone like her ever before. As crazy as it sounds, asking her to marry me seemed amazingly logical at the time much the same as spending the money or credit for that matter.. Something I would have never done in that manner with anyone.. She came across as a decent human being that just had the cards not so in her favor for a few years with an absolute promising career in the horizon..
Said I was the one for her often, that we must have been together in a previous life.. Mirrored so much of what I wanted in my life with a woman.. Basically I turned to mush in her hands very soon.. Fortunately I was able to get out.. I Just wanted to comment on what you mentioned Red… First off, I cared about her a great deal, I became madly in love with so much about her that I was literally blinded and felt imprisoned by her..
Such that I put a ring on her finger.. It was a colossal mistake!! Not sure where your confusion is on who is the sociopath.. This is my fist dance with the systemic despair of bankruptcy. So Chapter 13 is repaying the debt over 5 years at an annual percentage rate agreed upon by the lending institution along with a judges ruling determined by the debt and my available fluid monthly income. Hence being divorced and supporting my children and surviving on my own makes an income of over six figures look quite dismal.
Falling madly in love with someone and having what you though was a genuine belief system along with doing all you can for that person in every possible good way does not make you a sociopath. Taking total and complete manipulative advantage of someone who has done these things for you absolutely does.
Thanks for your personal marvelous posting! I truly enjoyed reading it, you will be a great author. I will always bookmark your blog and will eventually come back very soon. I want to encourage yourself to continue your great work, have a nice morning! I was dating a guy who I thought was my best friend. I had known him for years at a friendship level. I was thrilled when we started dating. We talked, traveled and I thought fell in love. I know that I had. Move forward just under three years. I ask him if he wants to tell our families that day our parents, his aunt, uncle and cousin were all there he said no big red flag I ignored.
We went ring shopping, I picked out a ring that I liked and he asked if I would be interested in looking at small business stores and, I said yes. Move forward a month, we have gone and looked at and reserved a venue for the wedding. I have ordered a dress, we have tried caterers.
He seemed to go from one significant ailment to another. So, 2 more months go by and I keep asking when we are going to tell the families, I have also said that he is making me feel like he is ashamed of me. He then says that he told his parents. I was close to his parents and he had spent lots of time with my family. Using addresses that he had given me for his friends and family, I mailed the save the dates out. My brother calls and tells me about the conversation that they had at the function, to say that he made me sound like a horrible dirty person would be an understatement.